إِنَّا لِلّهِ وَإِنَّـا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعونَ Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'u

(Islam forbids indulgence in intemperate grief for the dead. It requires that all affliction be borne patiently. On hearing of the death of a relative or a friend, or of any other affliction, a Muslim is enjoined to say: In-naa lil-laa-hi wa in-naa I-lay-hi raa ji-`oon (We are Allah's and to Him we shall return). These words are a source of unlimited solace and comfort in bereavement. Hence it is forbidden that one should indulge in regular mourning or ostentatious grief.)

Barely two hours into the holy month of Ramadhan, my Aunt, Hajjah Bidah Abdul Razak, aged 84 years old peacefully left at 1:30am. Hajjah Bidah Abdul Razak was the eldest in a sibling of five. Second, was Mahadi Abdul Razak whom passed away in 1998. The third was Noordin Abdul Razak. Fourth, my father Pahamin A. Rajab and the youngest Hashim Abdul Razak.

Bidah Abdul Razak or more fondly known as Mama by us all, left behind two daughters Norliza binti Ahmad and Norizan binti Ahmad. Mama's husband Ahmad bin Yusoff or more fondly known as Abah passed away in 1992. Mama whom resides in Gombak was a very caring Aunt. She pampers all her nephews especially me, Ervin Nordin and Arman Mahadi during our childhood. Mama was pretty Rawk and hot when she was young. I first began smoking cigarette with her.. aged 13!! Of course after getting consent from gangsta-Uncle Hashim aka Ayah Su. Actually all of father's sibling are gangsta with temper of a dragon (worst than a lion). Once, a robber armed with parang burglar Mama's house while they were asleep and Mama fist-fought the three armed robbers until the robbers fled. Mama was badly bruised but she would not let anyone get away without a fight.. She even fought with a Cobra once when the snake entered her house. That is the female version, imagine us male.. how we were brought up!! Fighting is almost a feast since childhood.

The last three surviving children of Salamah binti Awang (from left) 

Pahamin A Rajab, Hashim Abdul Razak, Noordin Abdul Razak

The last three siblings Pahamin A Rajab, Hashim A Razak, Noordin A Razak.

I last met Mama at our anniversary dinner just last week on 23 July 2011. She was struggling to walk out from her car to the eating place. I held her hand and walked her towards the table and again assisted her to the toilet. She was always smiling even when she was not well.

Mama's house is always the first house that we will visit every year during Aidilfitri. Mother had always reiterate the two most important houses to visit every year as the main priority before other relatives-visitation. The two were Mama's and Tok Su Daud, my grand uncle. During every year gathering at Mama's house, she will open her collections of all her siblings, nieces and nephews childhood pictures and weddings. She kept and always insist that we update her with our latest pictures on every Aidilfitri. Mama was one aunt that collect our pictures and kept track of all our well being.

When we, Arman Mahadi, Ervin Noordin and me; cousins of the same age were in our teens, we would always take refuge at mama's house during our spare time. We felt as though there were no boundaries with Mama. We could smoke, introduce our girlfriends, talk about anything or everything which Mama probably does not understand but she was always there to listen. As we grew older, busier with own family, busy with endless work schedules and life errands, we grew further distance and only met at family functions with little time to speak. Everytime we meet every year, she would hugged me tight and always whispered for us not to forget her... her time may come sooner. Her daughter Norizan is always by her side. If there was one person that Mama could always rely on, it must be Norizan. Norizan tirelessly, without any hesitation had always cared and been there for Mama.

We all gathered at Mama's house in Gombak as early as 11am awaiting for Zuhor. We all performed Zohor and sembahyang jenazah at the Gombak mosque together before the burial and doa selamat. After the prayer in a convoy of dozens cars, we left for the funeral.

As the burial took place, we can only look and sadaqah some doa and recitals of Quran verses

Listen and understand, listen and understand, listen and understand, O Bidah daughter of Salamah binti Awang. Are you on the same covenant on which you were when you parted from us? That covenant is the testimony of the fact that there is no God but Allah, Who is only One and Who has no partner. And the testimony of the fact that undoubtedly Muhammad, may the Peace of Allah be on him and his progeny, is the slave and prophet of Allah and is the lord of all the prophets and is the last of them and that Ali is the chief of the believers and the leader of all the successors and he is such and Imam whose obedience has been made obligatory on the whole world. And that Hasan and Husain and Ali son of Husain, and Muhammad son of Ali and Ja’far son of Muhammad, and Moosa son of Ja’far, and Ali son of Moosa, and Muhammad son of Ali, and Ali son of Muhammad, and Hasan son of Ali, and Muhammad, the awaited one, son of Hasan – may the Peace of Allah be on them all – are the Imams of all believers and are the authorities on the whole world, and all these Imams are guides for the pious persons.

O Bidah daughter of Salamah binti Awang, when the two favorite angels sent by Allah approach you and inquire of you about your God, your Prophet, your religion, your book, your qibla and your Imams, do not be afraid or grieved or worried, but say in reply: “Allah, the Glorious and Dignified, is my Lord, Muhammad, peace of Allah be upon him and his progeny, is my Prophet, Islam is my religion, the Quran is my book, Kaaba is my qibla. Ameerul Mu-mineena Ali Ibne Abi Talib is my Imam, Hasane Mujtaba is my Imam, Husain, the martyr of Kerbala, is my Imam, Ali Zainul Abideen is my Imam, Muhammad Baqir is my Imam, Ja’far Sadiq is my Imam, Moosa Kazim is my Imam, Ali Reza is my Imam, Muhammad Jawad is my Imam, Ali Hadi is my Imam, Hasan Askari is my Imam, Hujjatul Muntazar is my Imam. All these great persons, may Allah’s peace be upon them, are my Imams, my leaders, my chief, and my intercessors and I keep friends with them and have hatred for their enemies in this world as well as in the world to come.”

O Bidah daughter of Salamah binti Awang, know that Allah, the Exalted, is undoubtedly the best of Providers, and Muhammad, may the peace of Allah be upon him and his progeny, is undoubtedly the best of the prophets and that Ammeerul Mo-mineen Ali Ibne Abi Talib and the eleven Imams who are his descendants, are undoubtedly the best Imams and leaders. Whatever message Muhammad, may the peace of Allah be upon him and his progeny, has brought is true. Undoubtedly death is true, the questioning of Munkar and Nakeer in the grave after death is true, coming to life after death is true, the scale [Meezan] is true, the Path [Siraat] is true, accounting of deeds is true, and undoubtedly there will be a Day of Judgment. Allah will undoubtedly bring to life those who are in the graves. OBidah daughter of Salamah binti Awang, may Allah keep you firm on these beliefs and may He guide you on the right path and may Allah introduce you to friends in the vicinity of His mercy. O Allah, make the ground spacious for him (her) on both the sides and raise his (her) soul towards You and direct Your Guidance to him (her). O Allah, pardon us, pardon.

We can only look, pray and doa, for that is all that we can do now that she is gone. For the first time, I saw tear drop as father sat beside Mama's body to gave her the last kiss. A kiss from a brother to his only sister. I would not want to imagine kissing any of my sister for the last time.

Ayah Su, Hashim Abdul Razak

Ayah Chik, Noordin Abdul Razak

Cousin Zain & Wani

Life is too short. Before its too late, tell every person that matters to you, how important they are, how much they mean to you and how you feel for them. Hug and kiss them now, before that last kiss good bye... Allah Huakbar. If there should be any regret in life, it must not be for lack in expression of love and care. Al-Fatihah.

First day Ramadhan was very challenging but we successfully completed our first day Puasa (fasting), terawih and tahlil. My siblings, in-laws and parent enjoined and performed together the tahlil for Allahyarhamah Mama at home with Ustaz Khairullah after the sunnah terawih. It is customary every year, we invited Ustaz Khairullah to performed tahlil at our house every day. Insya Allah, this year will be the same together with terawih & tahlil for Mama.