What does it take to be and to stay married? Getting married is the easy part except for the whole list of administrative procedures to comply and in my case, endless visit to Syariah court for getting married 'without permission' outside of Malaysia which is of course, a story of another blog. I always thought the only permission and blessing I needed was only from my parents but not in Malaysia.
Unbeknown that I needed the Malaysia religious department's approval to get married in Bangkok, my brother Amnan Bazli Pahamin and son, Aaraf Armin left for Bangkok a few days before the 10 January, a month after I broke the news of getting into another marriage to my parents. No, I would never do anything without my parents consent and blessing but unfortunately, my parents were not available to attend my akad nikah on the date we were scheduled to get married. My parent however, organized the menyambut menantu and the wedding reception at the Royale Chulan, Kuala Lumpur on 1st March my birthday, a few months after the akad nikah.
So we were solemnized the year I turned 40 on 10 January and it was so simple without the traditional ceremony unlike those akad nikah done in Malaysia.
As I turned 40, I learn so much from the past especially the period when I was single, being a divorcee (No, I am not embarrass to say I was a divorcee). One important lesson that I learn was that I cannot live without a women... without a wife (notice the singular, not plural). I dont know how any other single man does it, but I cannot. I cannot live with many wives too, I am bad at multitasking. Without anyone to share with, everything has no meaning. I lost the drive, the ambition and the direction in life. Everything including money and businesses has no meaning.
Until this one women came into my life, Masya Allah. Allah swt must have heard my prayers. My family and parents felt I was rushing in and I should let myself cool down from the previous heartbreak but I was impatient. When I want something, I must have it there and then (yes, I am still working on this flaw but I am an impatient man). When I first saw Anny, learning that she was single and available, I told myself I had to have her.
Tagged-team with Aaraf, we managed to steal Anny's heart (ladies, watch out with Aaraf) and the rest was history.
My uncle Ayah Su Hashim once told me, the key to be happy and to stay faithful & loyal in a marriage is to bring the wife everywhere we go.. be it in business, work or pleasure. Otherwise, I will end up like him with countless wives and ex-wives. I saw and learn alot from successful friends too, the likes of Fadzil and Azura whom were exactly what Ayah Su's description. They do everything together from business to leisure and pleasure and are blessed with successful business and big huge family (including a pair of twins, my dream).
Anny came in the right moment when my spare part sister Rose Emini Pahamin whom was my best friend and business partner retires from the happy-go-lucky bootcamper & ambitious into a new role as a wife as well as motherhood and my counselor, Docta Sista whom was under a long break having migrated back from London, began her career at the government hospital in Malaysia. Otherwise, I would have gone into a worst cycle.
Anny's honesty and sincerity captured my heart, her beauty and smile can easily melt a hard-frozen Magnum ice-cream (my favorite!!) and she is just simply gorgeous... I would like to believe she is the female version of me hahaha...
On this anniversary, I have so many things to say... For one, I want am very appreciative and am grateful to have you in my life. Easy to say haa.. No seriously, I am!! From the moment when I wakes up in the morning with the hot coffee readily served until the day we retire with freshly cook meal for dinner.
I am grateful for your sweet, soft spoken and courteous voice greeting me every moment esp when I was lost in tonnes of paperwork and the forever ready to accompany me as my personal assistant in any meetings (the beauty of having an MBA graduate as a wife)... sometimes being my driver to park the car when I had to rush to a meeting. I appreciate and do notice all that.
I am overwhelmed when you are always concern of my parents and siblings well being and especially in making sure Aaraf always have food to eat and is occupied with things to do. I appreciate the steamboat and BBQ session organized weekly just for my parents at our house.
I notice all the effort you made to make sure our fridge are always stocked and replenished (lapar sokmo), and is cognizant on your every attempt to make Aaraf, my nieces, nephews and especially me to laugh with your endless jokes and humor. It is true, laughter is the best medicine to keep away any stress, sickness and the doctors (except you Doc Ta). I love how you always make me smile.
I appreciate all the little things you do such as that endless reminders to take my basketful full of medicines and for all the anti-ageing supplements and juices you tirelessly prepared daily. I know you want me to stay as young as you forever.
My mother always told me, if I want my spouse to be happy, I have to appreciate every little and big things she does and show how I appreciate it by doing more things for her... That always makes me wonder and always think, what else can I do for you and if I have done enough.
My father always remind me to never forget and celebrate all the important dates, new year, birthday, anniversary (TODAY!!), hari raya etc.
My father always remind me to never forget and celebrate all the important dates, new year, birthday, anniversary (TODAY!!), hari raya etc.
Anny darling, I want you (and all my readers, Yes!! I wish I can tell the whole world) to know on this anniversary, that you completes my life and I love everything about you and one day I want to be on top of a mountain and scream as loud as I can, I love you. If I scream at home, my neighbors (inc my father) whom are mostly lawyers may sue me in court for public disruption and if I scream at the bootcamp, my platoon may be penalize with 100 grunts. Since there is no mountain for me to climb and scream (and heeding my father's advice on important dates), I wrote this blog instead, Happy Anniversary Anny. May Allah swt blessed us with more and more anniversaries (and children soon). Allah huakbar. รักคุณ.
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